Time's Arrow
by Erika
Summary: After Tahl's death, ObiWan finds himself at a loss as to how to comfort QuiGon, but then something happens that proves that the Force does indeed work in mysterious ways, and helps him with his dilemma.
1. Strange Happenings

Hi everyone! I'm posting the first part to one of my finished stories. I'm also opening my website (for my stories), which I've been working on for a while now and I'd love it if you guys would check it out, if you have time, and tell me what you think. There are still some problems with it (in Netscape there's extra space at the bottom of all the story pages) but I'm still hoping to solve that...someday. Also, the graphics on the website may take a while to load. The thing is that Fateback is a free web host with no ads and so it loads slower. On top of that, I have DSL so I don't know how long it takes to load on a normal modem. A friend of mine checked it out and apparently it's not too bad. If it is, however, please let me know and I'll lower the quality of the graphics more than I already have. Oh, yeah, before I forget! Right now I have a quote from Qui-Gon in one of my stories. What I want to do is replace the "Peace over anger..." stuff at the top with an Obi-Wan quote, and then put a Qui-Gon quote from JA or the movies at the bottom where the other quote is now. I've already decided what Qui-Gon quote I'm gonna use, but I can't seem to find any Obi-Wan quotes that I really like. If anyone knows any, off the top of their head, or knows sites that have quotes I'd really appreciate your letting me know! My site is called "The Sanctuary" and here's the link:

http://thesanctuary.fateback.com

Note: the summary to my story contains spoilers for the JA books concerning Tahl.

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**_Title_****:** Time's Arrow

**_Author_****:** Erika

**_Rating_****: **PG

**_Summary_****: **After Tahl's death, Obi-Wan finds himself at a loss as to how to comfort Qui-Gon, but then something happens that proves that the Force does indeed work in mysterious ways, and helps him with his dilemma.

**_Time Frame_****: **Obi's 16

**_Spoilers_****:**I have a different version of Tahl's death and everything, but she is dead here too.  If I never write my AU, the important things to know are that she died in a completely different way, completely different things happened before and afterwards, and Qui and her were not in love.  They were best friends.

**_Category_****: **Angst, h/c, mystery (kind of), POV, non-slash, yadda yadda yadda...

**_Disclaimers_****:** The Star Wars universe and all of its characters belong to George Lucas, I'm only borrowing them to have a little fun and I promise to return them unharmed (well, at least mostly unharmed =0).  I'm making no money from this and this is written for entertainment purposes only.  Any characters that are not recognizable as being part of the Star Wars universe belong to me, but you guys probably figured that out, right?

**_Feedback_****:** Both positive feedback and *_constructive_* criticism are greatly appreciated and will be cherished! (firedrake88@yahoo.com)

**_Archive_****:** Jedi Apprentice, Early Years, Wolfie's Den, JAFD, The Guardians of Peace, The Temple Library, Telly, and any sites who have any of my other stories.  Anyone else who wants this, please ask and send me a link to your site so that I can check it out. =D

**_Note:_** Just a quick, fun story, (yes, for me 24 pages is still quick!).  Despite the ample amounts of angst this was just a story I wrote for fun over a few days.  I didn't spend as much time on it as I normally would, so there may be some typos and inconstancies that I didn't catch.  If so, please let me know!  "Time's Arrow" is the name of a great (at least I like it a lot) TNG episode – I do realize that.

Things enclosed in * *'s are *_italic_*

Things enclosed in 's are telepathic communication through the Master/Padawan bond.

Time's Arrow

~ Part One: Strange Happenings ~

Obi-Wan:

          I stared at the text of the datapad without actually reading it.  The day after tomorrow I had a huge test in my mechanical physics class and I knew I should be studiously reviewing the last six sections we had covered, but I could not concentrate.  I would read a sentence, trying hard to keep my thoughts from wandering, but then Qui-Gon's name would pop into my head and I would glance up from the pad and see him sitting there, staring at me blankly.  Only I knew he wasn't actually looking at me, or at the wall behind me.  He was looking at nothing, not seeing anything but his despair and grief.

          At one point, my Master's eyes had been sparkling blue pools of tranquility.  When I looked into them I could feel his serenity; I could see the love he had for all living things; I was inundated with his patience and his wisdom; and I was touched by the affection they held when he regarded me.  

          Now...now his eyes haunted me.  They were no longer filled with the strength I had come to admire and take courage in.  The brightness in them had dimmed; the hope in them had died.  They were storm-tossed clouds of pain and sadness.  When he looked at things, from the most exquisite kiala flower to the most magnificent mila leopard, they no longer touched his soul.  It was as if he didn't even see the beauty that had once captivated him.  All he felt was his loss and the missing presence in his life.  All he saw were flashes of Tahl, a beloved friend who he would never again see.  All he had were memories that haunted him like nightmares.

          Our days had become an endless routine.  Having Temple classes to attend, I would get up early every morning, almost always before he awoke.  Before...before all of this had started, he had always embraced the morning before me.  By the time I crept out from under my covers, he would already have completed his morning meditations.  Now there were times when he'd sleep until noon.  It was as if he didn't want to wake up and face another day of despair.

          After using the 'fresher and getting dressed, I would make breakfast in solitude.  I always prepared enough for the both of us because I knew that on Qui-Gon's worse days, he wouldn't eat unless he saw the food and remembered that he had to take in sustenance to live.  Then I would leave, usually without even seeing my Master.  

          Sometimes, though, I would emerge from my shower to find him eating breakfast at the table.  Then I would eat with him.  Watching as he mechanically put the food in his mouth.  

Either way, I would leave him to his sadness, alone.  It wasn't that I didn't want to be with him; it was that the Council had ordered me to take classes from various Masters, so that my training wouldn't suffer.  And, in a way, I was glad to be out of our quarters.  It was just too sad to be there all day.  Half the time, I felt like I wanted to cry.  The other half, I wanted to shake him and scream at him that his life wasn't over, that he didn't have to do this to himself.  It was suffocating to be with him and watch how desperately stricken he was.  Sometimes I felt that I couldn't handle it. I hated seeing him this way.

          Even though I left him behind to attend my lessons, I knew what he did all day.  It didn't matter if I was there or I wasn't.  He always did the same.  He mourned for her.  Every second of every day, he mourned for her.  It was all he did.  It was like he was going through the motions of living.  It was like he would wake up in the morning, have something to eat, read the Coruscant Chronicle, and then try and meditate, just because he knew he had to.  After that, he would just stare.  Sitting in the living room, standing in a window, or kneeling in a garden.  It didn't matter.  It was all the same and he would stare at it all without seeing anything.

          He hardly spoke anymore.  When I tried to talk to him, he would shift his gaze over to me, answer as quickly as possible, and turn back to his grieving.  Silence had become our constant companion.  A thick uncomfortable silence that was cold and unbearable to me.  My Master had always been a man of few words, but this was different.  Before, his silence had been calm and gentle.  Now it was cold and full of misery, and it was like a darkness to me.  I couldn't bear to see him this way.

          I had lost my Master, and I didn't know what to do to get him back.  Maravek had said to give him time, but it had been three weeks and there was still no change.  I wanted to help him, but I didn't know what I could do or say.  Words like 'She is one with the Force now', were woefully inadequate, and I had never been very good at comfort.  I felt, no I *_knew_* that I had to help him through this, but I was at a complete loss.  I felt so helpless.

          Qui-Gon loved to teach.  Once he had crawled out of his shell of fearful betrayal, it had been obvious.  He practically glowed when he was helping me learn a new kata, or showing me a new 'saber technique.  Maybe, if I could draw him back into life by showing him he could still do the things he loved, he would realize that just because Tahl was gone, didn't mean he had to give up.  I had to try everything I could to help him; I couldn't watch him keep doing this.

          I looked back at the datapad thoughtfully.  Maybe, if I told him I was having trouble with the material, he would help me study for the test.  I actually understood everything, but if he thought I didn't, he might realize that as a Master, it was his duty to help me.  Then, as he was explaining things to me, maybe he would remember how much he loved it.  

          "Master?" my voice was loud in the blanket of silence, and even I could hear the hesitancy and hope in my tone.  

          Qui-Gon's eyes widened in surprise, almost as if he hadn't expected me to say anything to him ever again.  Almost as if he...as if he had forgotten I was here, or as if I was part of something far away and removed from what he was feeling, from what he knew to be reality.

Slowly, his eyes focused on me, but I could feel the sadness that emanated from them, and I knew he was still lost to his own thoughts and sorrows.  "Obi-Wan?" his tone was forced and hollow, like he had no energy to speak

          I lifted up the pad so that he could see it, and asked, "I'm having trouble understanding my physics reading...w-would you please help me?"

          His face and expression didn't change.  I could see his grief, but nothing else.  As always, he was mostly unreadable to me.  Our bond was of no use in judging his thoughts – it had been virtually closed to me for the last four weeks.  So I had no idea what he was thinking as silence descended over us and I waited for him to answer.

          Tension filled the room, and in the silence it struck me that my Master actually didn't know what to say to me.  He actually seemed to be helplessly at a loss.  It was as if he didn't know how to be a Master anymore, as if he was too lost in his mourning to know how to deal with a completely normal situation.  Or maybe, I thought sadly, he just didn't care about anything anymore.

After a while I let the pad fall back into my lap and hung my head.  I had to distract him from his sorrow, but how could I, when he was so withdrawn, when he was all but dismissive of me?

          I let my eyes drift aimlessly across the rest of the room.  It was nearly dark, with only a streak of dying light falling in through the window.  In a few minutes the sun would finish setting and, since we had no lights on, we would be left in the thick obscurity of the night.  As it was, I could barely see Qui-Gon, who was sitting across the room from me, with a cup of cold and untouched tea, left forgotten on the table before him.

          "I would be of little help to you," he finally said, "but I'm sure that Maravek would be happy to explain to you what you don't understand."

          Swallowing hard, I tried hard not to be stung by the fact that he had basically been ignoring me for the last few weeks.  It still hurt though.  Even though I knew that Tahl had been his best friend, and even though I remembered how close he and I had been before this happened and knew that he loved me too, I couldn't help it.  I wanted him to care about me again.  I wanted him to be my Master and friend again.

          "I-I would rather have your help."  I still sounded hopeful, but I couldn't stop the hurt from coloring my voice.

          Suddenly, he looked even sadder, and I could see aching regret in his eyes.  "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan.  I'm sorry for not being much of a Master to you anymore."  For a moment, I could see the caring in his eyes, and I felt how much he hated putting me through all this, but then it was gone, and his gaze was vacantly lost again.

          Before I could answer, my Master stood up and walked towards his room, whispering softly behind his shoulder, "I'm going to retire for the night."

          Force, I couldn't let him go on like this!  I had to do something!  I had to help! "Qui-Gon?" I stopped him with a pleading, whispered call of his name.

          My Master turned around but didn't say anything.

          I didn't know what to say either, but I had to say something, so I just said what was in my heart.  "I love you," the words were choked, "and I'm...here for you, and I'll do anything to help."

          For the first time since Tahl died, Qui-Gon smiled.  It was mournful smile, full of regret and sorrow, but it was a smile nonetheless.  "Thank you," he murmured, and then escaped to the confines of his room, leaving me there alone.

          Throwing the pad aside, I got up and ran to my own room.  Closing the door behind me, I let myself fall to my bed.  I couldn't stand this!  I couldn't stand seeing him so lost, so hurt, so much in pain!  It was like torture to see someone I loved go through something like this.  It was like someone had a knife in my heart, and was slowly twisting it deeper and deeper into my soul.  It hurt to see him like this.  It hurt so much to watch him and feel so helpless because there was nothing I could do to help him.

          Tears gathered in my eyes.  I didn't fight them.  Instead, I let them slip down my cheeks and soak my face until they blurred my vision and made my breathing difficult and labored.  Then I stretched myself out on the bed and placed my head on my pillow, so that in the darkness of my room, I could cry for the Master who was alive, but who I had lost anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~

          I woke to the soothing sound of gurgling water.  I always had loved that sound, that gentle rushing sound, so full of life and beauty.  The trickle of water over pebbles, or the thundering roar of rapids over sharp rocks.  It captivated me.  I could listen to it for hours.  Perhaps it was because the consistency of it reminded me that life always went on, just as the water in great rivers and brooks always flowed forward.

          This sound was softer than a river.  It was more like a creek, humming, soft, and delicate.  It seemed silly, even to me, but the surging sound of water, burbling as it rushed forth, reminded me of laughter.  Not just laughter though, *_children's_* laughter.  Pure, innocent, and radiating simple joy.  It was a peaceful thing to wake to and...

          Wait.  Water?  Flowing water?  In my *_room_*?

          Opening my eyes, I sat up and gaped at my surroundings.  I wasn't in my room!  I was in one of the gardens!  In my favorite garden to be precise.  The one that had been built to look natural, so that glistening, silky trails of water crept over layers of brown and gray colored rocks to fall between mounds of dirt where small trees and flora had been planted.  Winding through the clumps of bonsais and delicate flowers, it ended up flowing down a waterfall and into a small, fish-filled pond.

          I often came here to meditate and find my center.  Although I had definitely been troubled last night, I did not remember coming here to clear my head.  I remembered crying myself to sleep in a dark room.  Had Qui-Gon brought me here?  No, even when he had been well and happy, he would come here to bring me home.  Not the opposite.

          Once, after we had had a rather heated argument, I had retreated to this garden.  For hours, I had sat near the pond, gazing at the rainbow colored fish and listening to the sounds of running water.  Qui-Gon, of course, had been perfectly calm throughout our entire discussion, but I had lost my temper and anger had flared within me.  I hadn't said anything that I regretted – fortunately enough – but I had been ashamed of my loss of control.

          I had wanted to go back home and apologize.  I always hated leaving anything unresolved between us.  He was the one person I could trust with everything, and whenever we had a disagreement, I disliked the tension that hung between us because it made me feel like I was cut off from my Master.  Instead I had stayed here though, not wanting to face him without knowing what to say.e

Finally, as night began to descend over the Coruscant sky, he had come to find me.  I had sensed and heard his approach, but I hadn't moved to look at him, and I hadn't known what to say.  I remembered being surprised when he sat down next to me and draped an arm across my shoulders.  Leaning against him, I had sensed that he wasn't angry and that he didn't want to leave it hanging between us anymore than I did.  So I had apologized and he had also.  We had spent the rest of the day, and part of the night, enjoying the beauty of the garden, and talking.

          The memory made me sad.  I wanted my Master back.  I wanted back the man who would share his strength and wisdom with me, who would confide in me and care for me as if I was more than just a Padawan, but a loved and precious friend.  I wanted to be able to sit with him and not be uncomfortable by the lingering silence.  I wanted to be able to meditate with him, and feel our bond at full force.  I wanted to be able to look at him without wanting to cry for the sadness I saw there.

          Of course it had been a terrible thing to lose Tahl.  Bant was my best friend; I had known her for almost as long as I had lived in the Temple.  I didn't know what it would feel like to lose her, but I knew that that was what Qui-Gon was going through.  Only he had known Tahl longer.  They had a friendship that had lasted through their Padawanhood, they Knighthood, and through their years as Jedi Masters.  It was not a thing easily lost and forgotten.  It was a thing to remember and cherish.  Having it ripped away was not a reason to give up living.  How could I make Qui-Gon see that?

          I stood up.  However I had gotten here, it didn't mater.  What mattered was getting back home and thinking of some way to help my Master.  I had given him enough time to sort things out by himself.  Now I had to do something to help him move on from his grief at losing Tahl.  No matter how long it took me, no matter what, I would find a way to return the strength Qui-Gon had always given me.

          With one last glance around, I prepared to go back to our quarters.  It was at that moment when I was about to start walking, that I saw it.  It was one of the small trees which the water circled around on its journey towards the pond.  I didn't know what kind of tree it was, nor had I ever asked, but its delicate heart-shaped leaves had always seemed elegant and beautiful.  It was one of my favorite bonsais in the garden, but now it was different.  It was the same type of tree, to be sure, but it was smaller, much smaller than it had been the last time I had been here.  In fact, it was only a couple of inches tall, and it barely had any leaves at all.

          Frowning, I cocked my head and wondered.  Was it possible that the other one had died and that the garden tenders had planted another one to replace it?  No...something told me that wasn't it.  I was no expert at the Living Force, but it had the same Force signature.  It felt the same, it only looked...younger?

          Now that I was thinking about it, everything was slightly different.  The bonsais were all smaller, and the flowers were not the same types as they had been.  Before, they had been all of different colors, but now they were all white or blue.  The grassy moss that had been planted to cover the dirt that surrounded the waterfall and pond wasn't there at all.

          Normally I would have thought that someone had done some remodeling, but I was sure that my favorite bonsai was the same plant I had seen on my last visit.  Maybe they had cut it back, and it was now just beginning to sprout again.  Yes, that had to be it.  They had trimmed it and replanted the rest.  Perhaps to give everything a new look.  

          Honestly, I liked it better the way it had been, but it didn't mater.  It was still beautiful, and the sound of the trickling water was the same.  

          Shaking my head, I silently chastised myself.  I was stalling.  It was time to get back to our quarters and think of some way to show Qui-Gon that he could count on me, that I was his friend and that he wasn't alone now that Tahl was gone.  I didn't want him to wake up and find that I wasn't there.  Lately, he hadn't seemed to notice my presence, one way or the other, but today I had no classes and I didn't want him to think I had abandoned him, or that I didn't want to be with him.

          I quickly turned and left the garden.

          Although most gardens were located in the meditation section of the Temple, this one was in-between two training wings.  Perhaps so that Masters and Padawans could have somewhere to relax after a grueling day of different physical exertions.  Whatever the reason, it put the garden all the way on the other side of the Temple from Qui-Gon's and my quarters, so it would take me about ten minutes to walk back.

          The hallways of the Temple were disserted.  I was halfway back to our quarters, and I hadn't seen or heard anyone.  Not in the many rooms I passed, not even echoing in the distance.  Where was everyone?  I usually woke up at around six to attend classes, and many people were already up and about at that hour.  Could it really be *_that_* early?  I felt energized enough, not as if I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep.  What time was it?

          I felt suddenly uneasy and quickened my pace.  When I reached out to the Force, I didn't sense danger, but things just felt...off.  This didn't feel like the Temple I knew.  It was obviously the Temple – I could see and feel that quite clearly – but it was different.  Though it looked the same, it didn't feel like home to me anymore.  It didn't make me feel safe.

          When I reached the door to our quarters, I felt strangely relieved and quickly palmed the release.  Being out in the Temple had never made me feel anxious before, but everything just felt wrong today, and I was glad to be back home, and with Qui-Gon.  Even in his present condition, he still made me feel protected and even though I knew I had never been in danger, it felt good to know he was here.

          My relief was not only short lived, it was very short lived.  As soon as I stepped inside the living room and heard the door slide shut behind me, I could feel the difference.  The Force practically swarmed around me, telling me that this was not the place I had lived in for the last three years.  They were the same quarters, yet they felt strange to me.  Like I was out of place here, like I didn't belong.

          The semi-bright streaks of moonlight that bathed the room told me why.  Everything had changed.  The sofa, with the big, comfortably cushioned chairs angled inward on either end, were gone.  The numerous potted plants that had decorated the rest of the room were also missing.  In their place were several meditation mats.  Other than that, the room was empty.

          No make matters worse, I couldn't sense my Master.

          I froze.  What in the Force was going on?  First the gardens had been different, then the Temple had felt odd, and now my rooms weren't my rooms?  Had I been asleep for one night, or for one century?  Why had so many things changed?  What had happened?  Where was Qui-Gon?

          A test!  That was it!  This had to be a test!  The sixteenth year generally marked the time of growth for a Padawan, and it was Qui-Gon's and the Council's duty to put me through different trials.  This had to be one of them!  But which one?  Surely not one that was supposed to be conducted by my Master, for in his current state he seemed to hardly care.  What tests was the Council supposed to run?  There were at least six that I could name.  There was the assault and self defense test, there was the adaptability to different situations...

          Yes, that had to be it!  This was the Ha'Shiak, where the Council tested my ability to cope with strange circumstances.  Not only would this be perfect for that test, but it was the only test given without the Padawan's knowledge.  From what I knew, the Council would use their combined Force abilities to create an illusion within my mind.  They would then use their knowledge of me to craft an illusion suitable to my personality, one that would prove to be a great challenge to me.

          Smiling, I couldn't help but feel a little proud of myself.  I had figured out that this was a test and that would surely help me deal with whatever happened next.  The Council might even be pleased with my deduction.  Of course, it hadn't been much of an inference, after all, there wasn't another explanation for this...was there?

          Suddenly, I didn't feel so sure.  It made perfect sense, but within the Force I could feel that that wasn't it, that I was wrong.  When I touched it, it filled me with a different, unidentifiable feeling.  It seemed to be telling me that not only was this not a test, but it wasn't a dream or vision either.  It was quite real.

          My chest tightened and my heart began to ache slightly.

          "Master?" an extremely familiar voice called out from my room, "is that you?"

          I knew that I should probably leave, but I didn't.  I recognized that voice.  I had heard it before, quite frequently.  So who was it?  It was a soft, serious tone that spoke volumes of the hidden strength behind it, quite similar to...  No, it also held a youthful energy and slyness to it.  It couldn't possibly be him.  He was intimidating and stern, not boyish at all.

Soft footsteps alerted me that he was approaching, but I didn't have enough time to leave now, and if he saw me running from the rooms, it would surely seem even more suspicious than it already did.  So, instead I waited, peering carefully towards the door to my room so that I could identify him.

A figure emerged from the darkness and stepped into the twinkling light of the moon, which was just strong enough for me to identify him.

I stifled a gasp!  It *_was_* him!  He was younger now, probably about my age, and much more compact, but with the same deep, thoughtful eyes and graceful way of carrying himself.  He was my height, had dark black hair that was buzzed to be about half an inch long, and wore a Padawan's braid, but there was no mistaking Mace Windu.

TBC... (in a couple of days)


	2. The Reason

Hi! Thanks for the feedback guys, I'm glad that you like it so far. I'd also like to thank those of you who checked out my website and say that I'm also very happy that you liked it. =) 

For the minus five of you that are actually reading this, here's the next part! I hope you like it! (It'll become very obvious in this part why I say it's just quick, fun story!)

Time's Arrow

~ Part Two: The Reason ~

Obi-Wan:

Mace Windu stopped when he saw me, and frowned. I expected him to call his lightsaber to hand but instead he simply gazed at me curiously. Perhaps he sensed that I wasn't a threat, or perhaps he could feel my desperate confusion and the hint of fright that was beginning to creep into my veins.

"Who are you?" he questioned sleepily, "I've never seen you before."

A felt a growing warning in the Force, telling me to be cautious. Not of Mace Windu, but of what I said to him.

"I'm not surprised," I chose my words carefully; "I was taken as a Padawan when I was very little and my Master and I haven't returned to the Temple in years." 

I don't know why I lied, but for some reason I felt I had to. Something was telling me that if this really was Mace Windu, if I had somehow, extraordinarily traveled back in time, I couldn't tell anyone my real identity. It didn't make sense, but I knew I couldn't.

He shot me a skeptical look but instead of pressing me, inquired, "Are you lost?"

Forcing an embarrassed laugh, I nodded. "Yes! I'm lost!" I had to hide a grimace. I had sounded way too eager to use that explanation and I had spoken extremely loudly, as if relieved to be offered a way out. Which, of course, I was.

Both of Mace Windu's eyebrows shot up, and he was gazing at me as if I was a puzzle that needed to be worked out. "Where are you trying to go?"

"Go?" I repeated stupidly, before quickly adding, "I…um, I was actually looking for Master Yoda. My Master told me to…go see him."

Mace Windu was clearly unconvinced, "At two-thirty in the morning?"

Well, at least that explained why the Temple had been deserted. It was too early for anyone to be wondering about. Anyone, that is, except befuddled Obi-Wan Kenobis who had inexplicably awoken in a garden, instead of at home, and then come face to face with a teenaged Mace Windu.

"We just arrived a few minutes ago and Master Yoda is expecting me," I lied, beginning to wish that I could either figure out *_why_* I couldn't tell him the truth, or be swallowed up by some merciful hole in the Force so that I wouldn't have to finish this conversation.

Either the Force was telling him to cut me some slack, or he was too sleepy to care that some strange Padawan had waltzed into his quarters in the middle of the night, because he apparently decided not to question me as to what was really going on. 

"Master Yoda's quarters are in the Masters' living section. You're in the Master/Padawan section. Taking a right outside these rooms, you want to follow the hallway until you pass the gardens. The first quarters after the gardens belong to Master Yoda."

"Thank you," I smiled, and then made a hasty retreat from his quarters. 

Force, but this was the beginning to what was undoubtedly going to be a very *_strange_* day! 

Once I was back in the hallway, I leaned back against the wall and rubbed my hands over my face. What in the Sith was going on? Had that *_really_* been Mace Windu? Was I really in the past? If I was, how in the universe had I gotten here? I hadn't done anything! I had just gone to sleep!

Of course, in the face of any other alternatives, which at the moment I couldn't even come up with, that could be a good thing. It meant that I could go talk to Master Yoda. He would surely help me sort this whole situation out and… No, I couldn't do that. I didn't know why, but I could feel, in the mysterious depths of the Force, that that was not the right thing to do. Just as I had felt that I had to lie to Mace Windu.

"I have to meditate," I whispered to myself, "maybe then I'll be able to figure some of this out, including why the Force had turned me into a liar."

~~~~~~~~~~

Gracefully, I rose from my kneeling position, satisfied at what I had found in my meditation. Within the mystifying rhythms of the Force, I had learned that I indeed was in the past. No friend or foe had brought me here, nor did I have to worry about returning. I was strangely confident that somehow, this was all the Force's doing, and that its power would also take me back, after I had accomplished whatever I was supposed to.

I was supposed to do something. I was here for a reason. I had no idea what that reason was, but whatever it was, it was probably important. After all, it wasn't everyday that someone was whisked off who-knew-how-many years into the past. It had to be important. Of course, knowing my luck, I was here to save some pathetic lifeform, or something like that.

Although I couldn't be certain, I surmised that the reason I shouldn't tell anyone who I was or where I was from was because I might interfere with the timeline in a negative way. What if I did something that somehow altered the lives of the people I came in contact with? There was every possibility that the change would be for the better, but there was also every possibility that the change would be for the worse. It wasn't a risk I could take. I was here for one reason, which meant that I was here to do, or change, only one thing. I couldn't risk doing anything else. I just had to make sure that I didn't do anything that I wasn't meant to do. 

Of course, that didn't tell me what I was supposed to do in the meantime. Was I just supposed to sneak around the Temple, suspiciously trying to not be noticed, as I waited for someone to come up to me yelling, 'Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan! This is your task!'? Not likely. I just had to have confidence that I would *_feel_* when the time came, and then I could act, knowing I was doing the right thing.

However, the question still remained…what did I do until then? No one knew who I was and people would be bound to notice a strange Padawan that just materialized out of nowhere. I couldn't go wondering around without attracting too much attention. So, what? I was supposed to just sit here waiting for something to happen?

I had decided to meditate back in the garden where I had first woken up, so I was back where I had started. This garden was not the most popular in the Temple, but a good number of people still came here frequently. If I stayed here, I would no doubt be noticed. There were, however, a few gardens that were hardly visited at all. It would make sense for me to stay there.

I left my favorite garden but even as I walked I wondered how I would be able to do what I was supposed to do if I was locked away, hiding in some garden? Sighing, I wished the Force could be more specific. I sensed that I was in the past. I sensed that I was supposed to do something. It would have been nice if I knew *_what_* I was supposed to do!

Fortunately, since it was still early, I probably wouldn't run into anyone on the way there and…

"…it is good to see you again. Did you miss me?" a woman's voice drifted into my hearing range from somewhere ahead of me.

Freezing, I strained my hearing to see if they were coming towards me.

"Any particular reason the Council had you come back this early in the morning?" Came the wry answer of the woman's companion, reminding me of the way that Tahl had never said hello or goodbye to me in the years that I had known her.

"I'm sure they booked me passage on this flight just to annoy you, Padawan," the Master answered tolerantly, "and if you're wondering, I missed you."

From the sound of it, it didn't seem that they were coming closer or moving further away from me either. I discretely sent a probing tendril of the Force out and found that the two were standing at the end of the hallway that branched off of this one a few feet in front of me.

"I missed you too, Master," the apprentice acknowledged, "but you probably missed me more because I'm sure that without me at your side you completely messed up what was supposed to be a routine mission." Her sarcasm, spoken in total seriousness with only the slightest touch of humor, made me wonder if it really *_was_* Tahl. 

"Ah, well, fortunately for me, the Council is not planning on sending me on any more solo missions any time soon," I sensed, rather than saw, the woman's smile, "and, they even decided to let me get some sleep before dragging me before them to give my mission report."

"Master," the-girl-that-could-be-Tahl spoke critically, "the only reason you're not in there right now giving the report is because the Council doesn't want to be up this early either!"

Inching forward, I risked a peak around the corner of the turn-off in the hallway. The two were standing about ten feet away, facing each other and apparently unaware that a time traveling Padawan was watching them.

Even though I would know the Master as being several years older than she was now, I did not believe that I had ever seen her before. She was probably in her thirties and looked like any normal human woman except for the fact that she had to be at least six feet tall and was extremely skinny. 

It was not her, however, that I was drawn to. It was the girl. She was sixteen, maybe seventeen, and had silky-brown skin the color of honey. With shoulder-length delicate locks of half-wavy ebony hair framing almond-shaped eyes that were a glittering twirl of green and gold, she was even more beautiful than she had been during the short time I had known her. Even without the scar that testified to her blindness, there was no doubt that this was Tahl. In which case, the Master was Ariala Zabete, who had been killed ten years earlier during a mission.

There was something else drawing me to the Padawan though, other than the fact that she was Tahl. It was as if the Force, swelling and whispering and pulling me forward, was compelling me and tugging me towards her. I felt as if I had to follow her, as if I had to speak with her and do something important.

This was it! I grew excited and smiled. This was the reason I was here! It had something to do with Tahl! I didn't know what, but I knew that I was here because of her. That meant that in order to accomplish my task, I needed to stay close to her and listen to the guidings of the Force.

Not wanting to be seen, I pulled back so that I was hidden by the wall.

"Come along Tahl," Master Zabete said, "let's go back to our quarters so that I can get some much needed rest."

"Actually," Tahl interceded, "now that I'm awake, I'm going to go to one of the training rooms and practice for the 'saber tournament next week. I think I have a good chance of doing well."

"Very well," she granted, "Be sure to be back in our quarters by the time I return from my meeting with the Council. There are still some techniques I can show you before you became the mistress of swordsmanship next week and decide that you don't need a Master anymore."

Tahl giggled, the same delicate, mirthful giggle that had always sounded like music to me, "Do not fear, wise Master of mine," she said expansively, "I will always allow you the pleasure of showing me just how much more I still have to learn."

"You're too kind," Master Zabete retorted dryly, and they both laughed, obviously enjoying teasing and joking with one another, just as Qui-Gon and I had before…before Tahl had died. The thought brought back the echoes of sadness. I missed having my Master to talk to. I missed making fun of him and watching his eyes sparkle as he jibed back at me with equal playfulness.

Sighing, I forced myself to banish those thoughts from my mind. I didn't have time for them now. 

I listened carefully to Master Zabete's soft footsteps as she turned and walked towards the far end of the hallway. As soon as I sensed for certain that she was gone, I took a deep breath and stepped around the corner to address Tahl. I had no idea what to say to her, but the Force was buzzing in my mind, telling me to speak with her.

As I moved up behind her, Tahl turned to face me.

"Do you have a habit of spying on people or are my Master and I of special interest to you?" she demanded, all confidence and cool grace.

Surprised, I stopped short and tried to think of something to say. I hadn't realized that Tahl had sensed my presence, and didn't know how to explain why I had been eavesdropping. I couldn't very well say that I was from the future and that I was going to follow her around until I realized what I was supposed to do. Yet, she would be suspicious anyway because she had never seen me before. 

"I was just wondering if you'd consider sparring with me?" I asked lamely, not knowing what else to say.

Her eyes narrowed and she seemed dubious of me. Of course, I couldn't really blame her. If some strange Padawan had suddenly appeared in the Temple, I would be doubtful of him too. "Who are you?" she finally asked.

I sighed and inwardly cringed. Normally, that would have been an extremely simple question, but now…now I could risk altering the future in a way I wasn't meant to. It was better for everyone to be wondering who I was and where I had come from than for them to know I was from the future and to question me about it. 

"You can call me…" A name! I needed a name! "Ben!" I about yelled out the first thing that popped into my head.

"Ben?" she repeated distrustfully.

"Yes, Ben. I…I was taken as a Padawan at a very young age and I haven't been in the Temple for years. That's probably why you don't remember me." If I was going to lie, I might as well tell the same lie to everyone.

"Who is your Master?" she questioned without pause.

My Master? Well, I couldn't very well tell the truth. She and Qui-Gon were good friends and if I said 'Master Jinn', she'd know I was lying for certain, instead of being almost completely certain of the fact. "Master…Nimrodi," I spontaneously chose one of the characters from my favorite book. The novel was rather obscure and I doubted that Tahl had read it.

A smile tweaked at the corners of her mouth, and her eyes sparkled triumphantly, "You should have picked a different character, *_Ben_*, Nicolai Nimrodi dies at the end of that book."

Groaning softly, I closed my eyes. Of course Tahl would end up being one of the five people in the entire galaxy to have read 'Moonlit Firesky'. Why hadn't I picked someone from a book that hadn't been written yet?

I didn't say anything. What could I say?

"So," Tahl grinned, "do you want to tell me who you really are, or should I get Master Yoda?"

Wonderful. Just what I needed. A Council session where I could try to explain that I was from the future and that they needed to let me be so that I could follow Tahl around and figure out what I was supposed to do.

"Please don't," I whispered entreatingly, "I know that you have no reason to trust me, but I do not mean to harm anyone. I can't tell you anything about myself."

Tahl sighed, and I felt her finding her center within the Force and searching through it to gain some sense of me. When I had known her, she had always been incredibly empathic, with a degree on insight and understanding of people that I often envied. I only hoped that those weren't skills that she had picked up later in her life.

For a second, her eyes seemed distant, and when she spoke her tone was soft, "You are not a threat," she declared with no trace of doubt, "I knew that from the beginning. Although I sense that you are supposed to be here *_now_*, you do not belong in this place…no, that is not true…it is more as if, you do not belong here…*_yet_*."

Swallowing, I stepped back a pace and stared at her thoughtfully. What she said surprised me. Her level of insight, without meditation, was astounding. Even now, as a Padawan, she had extraordinary gifts in the Force. Gifts she would need when she was blinded on Melida/Daan. Gifts she had learned to hone and use to her advantage to 'see' with the Force.

Her eyes focused back on mine. "I will not tell, my friend."

I bowed in acceptance, "Thank you, Tahl."

If she was surprised at my use of her name, she did not show it.

Her curious gaze stayed upon me for countless moments, studying my features and peering into my soul. Pondering, she considered me. I sensed her thoughts reeling, as she tried to figure me out, but they were kept veiled behind a shroud of acceptance and I knew that although she desperately wanted to know who I was, she would not question me further.

Shaking her head, she suddenly turned and began walking towards one of the training rooms. "Well don't just stand there!" she called back to me, "some of the Masters aren't quite as perceptive as I am, and you'll stand out like a frela flower on soil if you stay there."

Smiling, I hurried to catch up with Tahl.

Together, we entered one of the combat tactics training rooms. Usually battle situations were simulated in here by having different types of droids and probes attack in random patterns using low-yield blaster settings. Much time was spent learning to spar but during missions it was rare to ever come across someone who knew how to wield a lightsaber and therefore it was important for us to be able to defend ourselves against the more common dangers.

"Before sparring," Tahl began, "I always find it useful to hone my reflexes and find a comfortable center within the Force. That is why I usually come here before engaging an actual opponent."

As she spoke, she opened the lockers where the seeker/destroyer probes were located and set twelve of them in a circle about the room. They were, of course, older models than I was used to, but they were still quite effective because they were extremely maneuverable and were capable of adapting to different attack patterns. Once they learned your style, they become harder to disable.

For training purposes, the probes were programmed to deactivate after being struck once with a low level lightsaber or having a blaster shot deflected back at them. They could be manually set to more difficult levels but their adaptive capabilities usually made that unnecessary. It was easy to handle the first few; it was the last three or so that became really difficult.

Tahl took her position in the center of the circle and drew her lightsaber. The probes would not be activated until she used the Force to trigger them. After that, short of disabling them all, the only way to shut them down was to punch in the failsafe code into the computer console on the wall. 

A cold tension made the Force vibrate and clenched at my chest. A shiver ran through my whole body, making my skin tingle. Foreboding rushed through my veins with the increased pumping of my heart and I knew, even before I heard the low hum of energy as the probes activated, that something wasn't right.

One by one, the probes glowed red and shot up into the air, hovering menacingly about three and a half feet above the floor. That would have been normal except for the fact that Tahl hadn't triggered them. I hadn't felt the activating touch of the Force. They had simply turned on by themselves.

Without willing myself to do so, I grabbed my own lightsaber and held it before me, ready to ignite it and defend myself if the need arose.

Tahl's eyes widened and I noticed her hands tighten their grip on the hilt of her weapon. Her gaze seemed riveted to something but I couldn't tell what from my position near the door.

Stepping forward into the circle of probes, I took my place at Tahl's side. It was then that I saw what she was looking it. The power meters on all of the probes showed five glowing red bars – the absolute maximum setting. That meant that the blaster shots wouldn't be painless bursts of energy, but rather weapons' fire that was capable of injuring and quite easily killing.

"The failsafe!" I exclaimed, indicating the control panel on the far wall of the room.

Tahl nodded tersely, but made no move. I knew why. The probes had begun acquiring us as targets, just as they were designed to do. As soon as we moved, they would fire. Since each one had a built-in Force deflector, we would have to fight our way to the computer. There was no other way.

"Do they teach you how to fight where you come from?" Tahl asked grimly.

"Yes," I nodded, "they do."

"Good," she grinned. "Show me."

TBC…


	3. Loneliness Shared

Hi! I meant to post this earlier but I got caught up doing stuff for my website. With a little info from a great guy named Adam, I figured out how to work a floating frame into my site. It basically looks the same as it did before, except now the text and everything else, other than the border images, is in a frame. This solves the problem I was having in Netscape and now the only thing that looks different in Netscape and IE is the fact that Netscape doesn't load different colored scrollbars, so the frame's scrollbar clashes with the rest of the site. Anyway, if some of you have time and actually want to, I'd really appreciate it if you'd check out the new version of my site and tell me what you think.

http://thesanctuary.fateback.com

Thanks for the FB and I'm glad you're all enjoying it so far!

I hope this next part isn't too boring and that you all like it!   


Time's Arrow

~ Part Three: Loneliness Shared ~

Obi-Wan:

Both of us stood completely still as we reached out and found our centers.  Then we drew the Force in and threw our senses outward within it.  By using it as an extra sense, we would be able to 'see' the probes actions quickly enough to use our super-fast reflexes to defend ourselves.  Also, just as importantly, we would be able to sense each other's movements and operate as a team, working together and defending one another to defeat the probes.

Activating our lightsabers at almost the same instant, we quickly shifted our positions so that we were back to back.  We both knew that we would have to destroy as many probes as we could simultaneously so that we could get a good number of them before they had time to adapt.

As we moved, half the probes immediately began to fire, half targeting me, and half targeting Tahl.  The rest pulled back slightly.  It was a classic attempt to draw our attention to the ones that were a threat so that the rest could collect input and modify their attack pattern.

With quick, easy, swerving passes of my humming lightsaber, I deflected two blaster shots from separate probes so that they would fly back on themselves.  Then I leapt into the air and somersaulted outside of the circle of firing probes so that I could I swerve and slice my blade through another one.

The probe sputtered loudly as it came apart in two even halves and crashed to the floor with a loud, resonating clash.  As intended, the high-level blaster shots that I had blocked hit their targets and, with a small explosion and wave of heat, destroyed the two probes that had fired them.

Seconds later, I heard a dull bang as the emergency doors, activated by weapons fire, slid shut.

Without looking, I knew that Tahl had somehow managed to destroy four of the probes and was now defending herself against the remaining five, which had all acquired her as a target and had formed a circle around her.  Firing without rest, they had her rapidly spinning and swerving her weapon about.  Her whirring lightsaber, a constant blur of green, was dancing about her with easy grace.

Unfortunately, the probes had programmed in a defense against the methods we had used to destroy the first seven.  Whenever a blaster shot was deflected back at them, they would use their impressive mobility to veer out of the way in a random direction.  Likewise, when she tried to spin forward and cut them to pieces with her lightsaber, the other probes would all fire at once in rapid succession, forcing Tahl to break off and block their shots.

"A little help, please!" Tahl called out a little breathlessly.

Smiling, I quickly jogged forward to the circle of probes.  One of the blaster shots that Tahl had already deflected towards a probe that had avoided it was flying directly at me.  Through the Force, I sensed that a probe currently attacking Tahl was going to fire and then zoom behind her to fire again, so I blocked the approaching blaster shot in such a manner that the little probe flew directly into it.

"Nice," Tahl breathed, as the probe went up in a small ball of flames.

Using the Force as a link between us, we were able to sense the other's actions and intent.  So when I deliberately struck my lightsaber between the four probes' circle, to scatter them, she knew to take advantage of their distraction and jump out of the way.  

Quickly retargeting, the probes tried to follow her when she ran towards the computer console, but I was just as fast and somersaulted in front of them.  By keeping my back to the wall where Tahl was working, and facing the probes, I could deflect all their blaster fire and cover her. 

Two of the four probes retargeted to me but the other two were persistent and continued trying to whiz around me and get out Tahl.  As a result, I kept on having to block the blasterfire of the first two while I jumped back or to the side in order to keep the two renegade probes from getting at their goal.  

Slowly, but surely, they were pushing me back towards the wall.  Unfortunately, they were avoiding all my deflected blaster shots and never letting me get close enough to use my lightsaber directly on them.  If I wasn't careful, I would soon be standing back to back with Tahl.

Speaking of which, what was taking her so long?  The system was designed to be easy to use, in case of an emergency like this one.  She should have already typed in the failsafe code, so why weren't the probes disengaging, and why was Tahl still working?

Oh no!  The four probes had spread out!  The ones that were attempting fire at Tahl were each on opposite ends, and the ones that were targeting me were in the center.  As my probes continued to fire on me, the other two were inching around to her from either side of me.  There was no way I could stop both of them while still defending myself.

I couldn't see both of them at the same time, but the Force told me that the one to my right was closer to reaching her, so I somersaulted backwards in the air to land between Tahl –  who was busy with the computer system – and that probe.  

As I was deflecting its fire, I extended my thoughts outward and sent a Force wave flying towards the one that was approaching Tahl from my left.  Since it was equipped with a Force inhibitor, the pulse of energy passed harmlessly by it, but not before it stopped its blaster fire and sent it flying back across the room.

My maneuvering had kept a distracted and furiously working Tahl protected, but had left me vulnerable and wide open to the other two probes, which had followed me in and both fired simultaneously.  

Leaping to the side, I managed to completely dodge one of the blaster shots, but wasn't quite fast enough for the other, which grazed my right upper arm as it shot speedily by me.  The burning pain flared in the now tender and quivering flesh and muscle under my shoulder.  A flash of lightning carried a burst of stabbing agony down my arm, making my fingers jerk spasmodically and unwittingly release my weapon before the pain settled down to a brutal throbbing at the point of impact.

Gritting my teeth, I ignored the pain and called my weapon back to my hand just in time to activate it and turn to face the probes, which were in the process of powering down.  One after the other, they promptly fell to the floor without firing another shot, leaving the room silent except for my loud panting.

During the fight I had managed to ignore the physical reactions of my body but now I had to struggle to calm my breathing.  My heart was pounding rapidly in my chest and I could feel the sweat beading on my skin.  Merciless pain stung at my wound and for a few moments my vision darkened and the room spun in dizzy circles around me.

Closing my eyes, I forced myself to suck in five calm deep breaths of air.  My heartbeat slowed in response and once I felt my body's tension ease slightly, I deactivated my weapon and opened my eyes.

Tahl had come to stand in front of me and slowly, giving me enough time to prepare, she reached out and gingerly touched the patch of burned skin on my upper arm.  The stinging flared, momentarily pulsing outward, but considering how bad blaster wounds could be, it really wasn't that bad and I could easily control most of the pain by releasing it into the Force.

"Don't they teach you when to duck?" Tahl teased with a radiant smile, drawing back and gesturing for me to follow her to the benches at the other side of the room.

Shrugging, I grinned, "I guess not."

Together, we sat down on the benches.

"What took you so long with the failsafe?" I asked.

Tahl sighed, "The Temple's computer system has been experiencing random malfunctions.  It wouldn't accept the failsafe code so I had to bypass the system."

Surprised, I cocked an eyebrow, "You good with computers?"

"My Master's an expert, I've picked up a couple things in the last few years," she answered modestly, eyeing my wound, "I should bandage that."

I shook my head, "No, when the doors ceiled an alarm should have gone off, alerting the Council that there's some sort of problem.  Someone should be here soon."

Tahl tore off the sleeve of her garment and answered, "The malfunctions have rendered the communications system within the Temple useless, so the alarm won't have sounded.  No one will realize we're in here until people start waking up in a couple hours and coming here to train."

Normally, that would have alarmed me, but now I felt that this was supposed to happen.  It would give me a chance to talk to Tahl and figure out just what I was meant to do back here in the past.  For all I knew, having a conversation with her and learning or teaching something was the reason I was here.

"So, I guess we're stuck with each other," I said for no particular reason.

"What an astute observation," was her dry response, "with wisdom like that, you'll be a Master in no time."

I laughed, and despite the fact that to her, we were virtual strangers, she did too.

~~~~~~~~~

I ran my fingers lightly over the make-shift bandage Tahl had fashioned from her sleeve.  She had drawn it over my red-and-black-scabbed-burn wound rather tightly, and my entire arm felt stiff and difficult to move.  The pressure, however, lessened the stinging pain and I now only felt it when I shifted my shoulder, which I was making a point of not doing.

Tahl gazed at me intently, questioning thoughtfully with her bright gold/green eyes.  "Why do you want to know about my friends?"

The truth was that I wanted to learn more about my Master's strong, wise, and witty best friend.  We had spoken, but never at great length.  She had died before I had gotten to know her as well as I would have liked.  I had always been curious about how Tahl and Qui-Gon had met, and since my Master wasn't about to talk to me about her while in such a deep state of grief, I thought I could coax the story out of Tahl without actually mentioned Qui-Gon's name or anything to specific.  Of course, I couldn't very well tell Tahl that, could I?

"I'm just curious," I flashed her a hopefully charming smile.  At least this time it wasn't a lie.  It just wasn't the whole truth either.

Raising her hands above her head and interlocking her fingers, she stretched her arms and back before leaning back against the wall and giving me a quizzical look that said, 'You're not the only one.'  She did not question me further, though, just as I knew she wouldn't.  Instead she said, "I don't really have any."

That caught me by surprise and I had to stop myself from blurting out, 'What about Qui-Gon?'  Instead I frowned, "None?"

A sad smile touched her face, and she nodded, "I've had friends, over the years, but after a while they all seemed to grow tired of me and we don't speak anymore.  I think people find my straightforward honesty troubling."

Smiling, I thought back to a time when I had come face to face with Tahl's 'straightforward honesty'.  Once, when I had been sparring against another Padawan, she had pulled me aside and listed all the things she sensed I was doing wrong, right down to my grip of the hilt.  At first I thought she was being overly critical, but with her help I had greatly improved the fluidity of my movements.  I did not, however, change my grip, which favored more acrobatically oriented fighting while she preferred another style of defense/offense.

I knew, from listening to the banter exchanged between Qui-Gon and Tahl, that that honesty extended to everything.  Tahl had certainly not be shy about voicing her opinions and seemed to enjoy it more when those opinions conflicted with my Master's.

"Maybe you haven't found the right people?" I suggested softly, wondering when my Master and Tahl had become friends.  "I've found that honesty in a relationship – any kind of relationship – is the most important thing.  How can you trust someone to be your friend if they are not truthful with you, or if you can't be yourself around them?"

Tahl nodded, but I could tell that not having anyone to confide in and be close to, other than her Master, greatly saddened her.  "It's just that…I see other people together, and I know how close they are…that they can tell each other anything, and I envy that."

I could sympathize with Tahl, although I couldn't say that I knew what she was feeling.  Bant and I had been friends for so long that I almost had to struggle to remember how we had first met.  I had made and lost other friends, but she and I had stayed close.  Bant and Qui-Gon were the two people who I felt closest too.  Of course, the relationship with each of them was different.  I could tell Bant anything, and before Tahl had died, I had reached that point with my Master as well.  There were still many walls between Qui-Gon and myself, but slowly, I felt that I was breaching them.

"Don't worry," I said a bit enigmatically, "you will find your special friend."

"You're just trying to make me feel better," her voice lacked the conviction she usually spoke with, and I knew she was wondering.  Wondering who I was and where I came from.  Wondering if I somehow knew that what I said was true.

Shaking my head, I spread my hands and smiled, "No, I'm not.  I'm making you a promise."

"I don't know why," she murmured, "but I believe you."

~~~~~~~~~~

We probably sat there, talking about completely random things, for about two hours before the doors that had ceiled us in the room opened.  I was already thinking of explanations I could offer the Jedi Masters who would no doubt demand to know who I was, when Tahl, taking matters into her own hands, jumped up and ran to the doors.

"Master Renta," she, blocking the entrance so that no one could come in, "thank you for getting me out of here!  I was beginning to think that by the time I was released, my Master would have taken another Padawan and forgotten all about me!"

"What happened?" Master Renta, who, though old, still served the Temple as a gardener in my time.

"The seeker/destroyer probes malfunctioned," Tahl explained, "You should get Master Silfer to examine them, immediately."

"Very well," he agreed, "I will wake her.  Be sure to wait for her so that you may explain exactly what occurred here."

"Of course," Tahl nodded eagerly.

I heard Master Renta walk away.  

As soon as he was out of sight, Tahl signaled for me to follow her.  "I can take you to a garden that's rarely ever used anymore," she explained as we speed-walked down the hallways.

"Thank you, Tahl," I said gratefully, glad to have been spared the awkward situation of having to explain to a Jedi Master just who I was.

"I only acted so that I wouldn't have to watch you make a fool out of yourself as you babbled out some ridiculous explanation of who you are.  Honestly, even a four year old would be able to tell you're lying when you spout off that lame excuse of yours," she responded in the usual Tahl manner, "Besides," she grinned slyly, "now you owe me one."

~~~~~~~~~~

'The Force works in mysterious ways.'  Whoever the first person was to say that age-old Jedi phrase was definitely right.  Not only had the Force whisked me through time, but by some miracle, none of the people we passed on the way to the old gardens gave me a second look.  It was as if none of them stopped to think about why they had never seen me around the Temple before.  Not that I was complaining or anything, since it was because of that that we made it without incident.

The gardens, however, were not empty as empty as we had both hoped.

There was exactly one person kneeling on the grass amongst the small, multi colored flowers, and I recognized him instantly.  He was very tall, and skinny enough to make it seem that his muscles hadn't grown into his body yet.  With shortly cropped brown hair – streaked with touches of dirty blond – a slim face, and a slightly bent nose, it was his intense cobalt blue eyes that stood out.

He seemed so young now and I expected them to be bright and full of energy, but they were not.  No, they were already heavy with worry and sadness, and I recognized the distant look in them.  It wasn't anywhere near the withdrawn look of regretful sorrow that had constantly walked with him when I first met him, or the empty lost look of despair that marred his eyes now, but the gaze was tinged with grief.

"Tahl," I whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder and drawing her gaze down into my eyes, "what troubles Qui-Gon?"

Tahl's eyes dimmed and overflowed with sympathy as she told me of my Master; "From what I know, Qui-Gon was brought to the Temple by Master Tybis Camad when he was but a few months old.  Master Camad took a special interest in Qui-Gon.  When I was little, I remember seeing them together a lot.  Everyone knew that when Qui-Gon became old enough, Master Camad would take him as his Padawan."

Tybis Camad?  Who was he?  Qui-Gon had been trained by Master Dooku.

"I think Qui-Gon was eleven when he went on his first mission with Master Camad.  After that, he was hardly ever at the Temple again.  Every few months they would come back together, always talking or laughing as they walked through the Temple halls," here Tahl's voice grew wistful and I knew that she wished she was closer to her own Master, and that she envied Master Camad and Qui-Gon, "You could tell they were very close, just by watching them but…"

"But what?" I pressed when her voice fell to silence.

Tahl smiled sadly, glancing over at where my Master knelt with his head bowed and his gaze distant, "But four days ago, for the first time since they left together, Qui-Gon came back to the Temple alone.  No one knows, aside from the Council and him, how Master Camad was killed."

TBC…


	4. Healing

Well everyone, here's the last part.  Thanks for the FB and I hope you guys like it!  Please tell me what you think!

Time's Arrow

~ Part Four: Healing ~

**Obi-Wan:**

          I fixed my gaze on a tree behind Tahl.  Now I understood why Qui-Gon had always spoken of Master Dooku with respect and gratitude, but never with affection.  He had trained for years under Master Camad, with whom he shared a special bond, until it was ripped from him.  Doubtlessly, it was Master Dooku who would pick up Qui-Gon's training from this point, but they would never be anything more than Mater and Padawan, never good friends.

          A stab of sadness shot across my heart.  Qui-Gon had known so much grief in his life.  First losing Master Camad, then losing an apprentice to the Darkside, and now losing Tahl.  Between those three horrible things were spread countless missions where my Master had no doubt witnessed dreadful suffering and pain.  No wonder he was taking the loss of his best friend so terribly.  He had already been through so much; he'd lost and been hurt more than he could stand.

          "Since then," Tahl's own saddened voice cut into my thoughts, "I've seen him aimlessly wandering about the Temple, or kneeling and meditating in one of the gardens.  Always alone.  I can feel his grief every time I'm near him."

          "Doesn't he have any friends?" I asked, still gazing at the white branches and blue leaves of the rema tree.

          "No," she whispered, "I don't think so.  Even before he was Master Camad's Padawan, I would see him alone in the gardens.  It was different than this, though.  I could feel his peace then, and I knew he was admiring the beauty of nature, not trying to find solace for his sorrow."

          There were so many things I didn't know about Qui-Gon, I realized with regret.  I had always imagined him having countless friends and flying through his training with little to no problems.  I had seen him becoming more and more fascinated with the Living Force as he grew and learned more about the Force in general, but in truth he had been drawn to it even as a young Initiate.  Even after three years, and even after growing constantly closer and closer day by day, he was still a mystery to me.

          I didn't want him to be a relative stranger to me though.  We were friends, but I wanted to be closer to him.  I wanted to know more about him, about his life and dreams.  I felt that I could tell him everything without fear of being judged or ridiculed, and I wanted him to feel the same in return.  I wanted him to trust me with more than just his life, but in the way he had trusted Tahl: with his hopes and sorrows.  Most of all, I wanted to be able to help him through this loss.

          I shifted my gaze from the rema tree and glanced first at Qui-Gon, and then at Tahl.  The Force was drawing them together.  It was swirling around them in a dance and song built of sensations, feelings, and colors that washed over my mind like sunset stretching out over the sky.  They were meant to be friends.

          Grinning, I suddenly understood.  This was it.  This was the reason I was here.  Tahl and Qui-Gon were supposed to be friends, had become the best of friends, and yet they had barely ever spoken to each other.  Even though Qui-Gon was in so much pain because he had lost her, he still needed to meet her.  After all, it was better to have been able to know and love her then to have never been friends, wasn't it?  My 'task' in the past was to make sure they became friends!

          "Tahl!" I couldn't help but sound excited, "You should go talk to him."

          Tahl was clearly confused, "Why?"

          "Because, no one should ever be alone at a time like this."

          Tahl looked as if she would argue, and maybe ask me what she should say to him, but then she sighed and shot me a frustrated look, "I don't know why I'm doing this," she muttered, "I don't even know you!"

          Then she turned and slowly walked up to where Qui-Gon was kneeling.

          I lingered behind her, staying far enough away to not be obtrusive but close enough to hear them talk.  It seemed important to watch them truly interact for the first time, and begin to form a bond that they would carry with them for the rest of their lives.

          Qui-Gon looked up at Tahl, the question clearly evident in his eyes.

          "The thing about losing someone that you love is that you must grieve, and then move on while always carrying that person in your heart," she whispered softly, "I thought you might want some company while you mourn your Master's death."

          My Master shook his head and opened his mouth to refuse Tahl's request, but then her gaze seemed to catch his, and they looked at each other for a handful of moments that seemed to stretch out for eternity.  In those instants, I felt them both recognize their mutual loneliness, and the potential for a friendship.  I couldn't tell how much of the depth of their future relationship they glimpsed, but they both saw something in the other, and smiled.

          "That would be a kindness," Qui-Gon allowed, gesturing for Tahl to kneel with him.

          Tahl complied, scooting forward on the grass so that their knees touched.

          As I watched, I expected Tahl to say something to try and comfort Qui-Gon, but she didn't.  Instead she reached forward and took one his hands in one of her own.  Intertwining their fingers, she simply sat with him, giving him the comfort of letting him know that he wasn't alone.

          And it was a comfort.  Qui-Gon's grief had been a palpable cloud of darkness, now I could feel it thinning and lifting away from him.  The sadness was still there, but having someone to be with seemed to make it easier to deal with.  Even though they hardly knew each other, and even though Tahl being there didn't change what had happened to his Master, there was a little light sneaking into my Master's gaze.  Just knowing someone cared was enough.

          It was then that I realized my mistake.  Thinking Qui-Gon mostly needed time to heal, I had let him be.  I had agreed to attend classes, instead of staying back with my Master as I should have done.  Even when I had spent time with him, I had just sat in the same room with him, wondering what I needed to do to help.  I hadn't been there *_for_* him.  Saying that I was there if he needed me wasn't enough; I needed to *_show_* him I was there.  I needed to hold his hand and sit with him so that he realized again that he wasn't alone, because somehow, seeing me everyday didn't prove that to him.  He needed to feel my caring.  Maybe then, he would start to heal.

          Tahl felt my gaze upon her and turned to look at me.  Nodding to her in acknowledgement, I returned the smile she sent me and turned to leave the garden, ready to let her and Qui-Gon discover and form their amazing friendship on their own.

~~~~~~~~~~

          It was completely dark in my room when I woke up.  Sitting up in my bed, I peered into the obscurity, waiting for my eyes to adjust.  When they did, I saw that I was still wearing the robes I had fallen asleep with and that it was only four in the morning.  

          Had it all been a dream?  No, that was impossible.  It had been too real and too detailed to only be a dream.  Somehow, someway, I had been in the past.  I had spoken to Tahl and amazingly enough, I had set her friendship with Qui-Gon in motion.  She had repaid me by showing me what I needed to know to comfort him now.

          Reaching out towards the glass of water that I kept on the nightstand by my bed, I hissed as a bright flash of burning pain ignited just below my right shoulder, making my entire arm stiffen and throb.

          Carefully, I rolled up the sleeve of my shirt.  Under the soft material was a swelling red and black burn.  If any doubt had lingered as to whether or not my journey had been real, this would have dispelled it.  It was the wound I had suffered while helping Tahl defend herself against the probes in the training room.

          With my left hand, I opened the small drawer in my nightstand and pulled out the jar of bacta I had stored there.  Then, gently, I smeared some of the thick cream over the wound, rubbing it into the skin so that it would mend more quickly.  The bacta was cold and made my skin tingle but it eased the pain.  As soon as it dried I pulled my sleeve back down and climbed to my feet.

          It was time to see Qui-Gon.

          His room was illuminated by a single streak of moonlight, falling in through the open window to reveal an empty bed of tangled sheets.  In the darkness, I could barely make out his silhouette, sitting motionless on the soft cushions of his small couch.  He was shrouded by darkness, but I knew that he was awake.  I could feel it in the sadness that clouded the Force.

          "What is it, Obi-Wan?" his barely audible question broke the eerie stillness of the room.

          I delicately crept across the room, my bare feet making no noise against the soft carpet.  Stopping when I stood just inches from his unmoving form, I leaned down and wrapped my arms around his stiff, tension filled frame.  Smoothing my hands over his shoulders and upper back, I turned my head so that I could rest my cheek against his chest.

          "Did you have a nightmare?" his voice was devoid of all emotion.

          Closing my eyes, I repeated Tahl's own words, "The thing about losing someone that you love is that you must grieve, and then move on while always carrying that person in your heart," I tremor ran through his whole body, and I tightened my arms, "I thought you might want some company while you mourn for Tahl's death."

          Qui-Gon pulled back from me and held me at arm's length.  I could see his widened eyes carving through me in the dim light.  He recognized those words and the air sizzled with his dazed wonder and questioning curiosity.  Creeping through his haze of grief were different thoughts than any he had recently harbored; he was quizzical as to where I had pulled his best friend's words from.

          Finally, with a shake of his head and a barely visible smile, he seemed to decide that it didn't matter.  Instead he grabbed my hand and pulled me forward until I was sitting on the couch next to him.  A few seconds later a heavy arm was laid across my shoulders and he was drawing me sideways until I was leaning against him, with my head against his shoulder.

          "That would be a kindness," my Master relaxed back into the couch and took hold of my hand, clutching it as tightly as if it were the only thing that could save him from plummeting to his death in a pit of despair.  

          He didn't say anything else, nor did his grief lesson.  No, his sorrow was still as deep, his hurt still as cuttingly raw, but I sensed a tiny shimmer of something that I hadn't felt within him for a long time: hope.  Something had finally broken through his anguish.  It wasn't the comfort of words, but the fact that for the first time since Tahl's death I was sitting here *_with_* him, instead of just occupying space within the same room.

          Whenever I wasn't feeling well, when I was scared or when I had woken up from a nightmare, Qui-Gon would come into my room and sit with me.  Speaking in a soft, soothing voice, he would comfort me until I was calm again.  Never harsh or disappointed because of my succumbing to emotions that did not befit a Jedi, he would always know what to say to ease the tension in my heart.

          Therefore, the few times when the tables were reversed and it was my Master who needed to be comforted, I always felt woefully inadequate to the task.  He always knew what to say and I would find myself bumbling and stuttering over my supposed words of reassurance.  Not able to think of anything to tell him after Tahl's death, I had stayed silent and hadn't offered the one thing he needed: understanding companionship.  I didn't need to come up with deep words of wisdom, I just needed to be with him and offer him my friendship.

           Closing my eyes, I reached out through the Force to touch our bond.  It was still nearly ceiled off from me, but instead of pulling back as I usually did, I began pouring all the positive emotions I could muster through the little crack.  Conjuring up some of my most pleasant memories, I sent the joy and contentedness they evoked pummeling into him.  I knew that *_some_* of my thoughts and feelings had to be reaching him through the small opening that existed between our minds, and I was going to ease away some of his grief with some of my light-filled emotions.

          At first there seemed to be no effect but little by little I felt the barriers he had erected slip away until finally, after an eternity of quiet minutes, our bond was open again.  Instead of the peaceful tranquility that usually shone through his side of the link, I was inundated with all of the pain he had kept bottled up inside.  It came flooding through into my mind with the force of a thousand ramming sharks – vicious and merciless – but I did not fight it.  Instead I let it flow freely between us, always returning my love, understanding, and joy in return.  

          Countless times in my apprenticeship to this man, I had latched onto his serenity to calm myself, but now it was Qui-Gon who was drawing on my emotions and pulling them into himself.  Every positive thought and feeling I could muster and push over to him was eagerly snatched up and used as a beacon of light to fight off the darkness that had filled his soul.  Our bond was a flurry of activity and gradually, I felt him reign in the grief that had nearly consumed him.  It would be a long time before he woke up one morning and did not feel the bitter sorrow, but at least the healing process had begun.

          I sat with him in silent support for a myriad of hours, until dawn broke out over the northern sky and beautiful rays of light brightened the room.  Even then I only moved when I saw him take a small strand of his long hair and unwittingly begin winding it around his fingers.  

          My Master was a very hard person to read but over the years I had learned that he had various idiosyncrasies, one of which was the fact that when he was not preoccupied with an important mission, he would twiddle with his hair when he wanted tea.

          Therefore, when he absentmindedly began to fiddle with one tress of hair, I pressed a dry kiss to the back of his hand and momentarily excused myself to the kitchen.

          Qui-Gon probably drank more tea than any other ten Masters combined, and I had learned how to make it for him.  This time I chose one of his favorite blends – rescet tea with a dash of sysli powder and a trickle of sweet titso cream – and poured it into the teacup I had given him two years earlier.

          Carrying the teacup of steaming liquid back into my Master's room, I offered it to him with the hint of a smile touching my lips.

          My Master looked up at the procured teacup and registered a touch of surprise when he realized I had brought him what he himself hadn't consciously realized he wanted.  Taking it from me, he touched the edge of the teacup to his lips and took a small sip, evidently savoring the taste for he closed his eyes and sighed softly.

          "Thank you, Obi-Wan," he murmured, "You are an angel."  A pulse of love and gratitude flowed freely across our bond and I knew he was referring to much more than just the drink.

          Blushing, I muttered a hasty, "You're welcome," before taking my place as his side.

          Placing a heavy hand on my right shoulder, he squeezed lightly.  My wound sparked in fiery protest under the sudden increased pressure, and I wasn't able to stop myself from flinching and hissing softly through my clenched teeth.

          Sharp blue eyes studied my face as nimble hands set aside the teacup and rolled up the fabric of my sleeve to reveal the bacta-lathered burn.  A flash a worry pushed away some of the sadness in his face and eyes and for a moment, just fleeting moment, he was my Master again – concerned and worried for me.  "Obi-Wan?  What is this?"

          Closing my eyes, I couldn't stop myself from smiling.  He had noticed!  He had been dismissive of me for weeks on end but now he had noticed the wound and was troubled by it.  It felt good to be cared for again, and silently I noted that if it helped bring my Mater back to me, I would gladly suffer twenty such wounds.  "It's nothing Master, just a little training accident.  I'll be fine."  Neither of which were a lie, so hopefully he wouldn't press me further.

          Qui-Gon looked at the wound thoughtfully, gently rubbing his fingers over the tight, swelling flesh, before nodding and releasing my arm.  "Very well," he said, his voice distant as his thoughts were again driven to ones of mourning.

          Once more, Qui-Gon drew me close with his arm and I nestled into him, resting my head and shoulders against the side of his upper chest.  Only this time, I felt my own weariness creep up to claim me.  In truth, I had barely slept during night and I was tired, having only stayed awake for my Master's sake.  Now tentacles of fatigue were starting to have an affect on me.  The constant rising and falling of his chest was nearly hypnotic, and it began lulling me to sleep.

          "Did I ever tell you how Tahl and I became friends?" Qui-Gon inquired in a voice tinged by great sorrow, but much more vitalized than I had heard in a long time.

          I tried to rouse myself, but even though this was the first time he had spoken of her since her death and I knew this was an important step in his recovery, all I could manage was a mumbled, "No, Master."

          "I was a little older than you are now," he sipped on his tea thoughtfully, thinking back to that day in the garden, "and I was mourning the death of my first Master.  We had only exchanged a few words before that day, but when she saw me kneeling in the garden she came and offered me her companionship," there was immense gratitude in his voice, and I smiled sleepily.

          "Even though we weren't friends, she sat with me, and after a long while we began to talk," Qui-Gon continued speaking, telling me of their conversation with a mix of dawning contentedness and regretful sorrow.  

          I tried to pay attention but the deep rumble of his chest betrayed me and I found myself succumbing to the world of dreams.  His words drifted from low whispers to normal tones as I flowed between the line of mild and deep sleep, and for a timeless period I was completely unaware of it.

          When his voice floated back into my stream of consciousness, it was to tell me what had happened a few days after Tahl and Qui-Gon had started their friendship.  My Master had somehow moved me so that I was lying on my back with my head and shoulders in his lap and with a blanket pulled over me.  I opened my eyes to watch him through blurry vision as he spoke.

          "…then that she told me of the boy who had mysteriously appeared in the Temple for a handful of hours on one day.  She explained that without him, she never would have spoken to me," he paused to caress my cheek gently, "and we set out on a quest to discover his identity.  No one other than Mace Windu remembered seeing him though, and no Padawan of that description had ever lived in the Temple.  Eventually, we gave up, concluding that he belonged to another place and time.  But we never forgot him, or the gift he gave us by initiating our friendship."

          My Master fell silent, and still half-asleep, I beamed inwardly at knowing that even if he never realized it, I held a special place in his heart for doing what I had done just hours ago for me, but decades ago for him.  

          Qui-Gon's gaze was fixed on my own.  His eyes were still shadowed by grief, as was his voice marred by it, but they were brighter than they had been in a long while, and there was an immense pool of gratitude contained in them that pulsated in my heart.  It was gratitude for being with him and helping him begin the healing process, but also for something else, something that lifted the sleep from my body and filled me with sudden alertness so that I could catch his next whispered words.

          "And now that I've finally found you," he leaned down to press a kiss to my forehead, "I want to thank you for what you did for Tahl and me."

          He…he…he knew?  How…how was that possible?  I hadn't given her my name and he hadn't even seen me!  Sitting up in a flash, I gaped at him in wordless shock for a good thirty seconds before I finally managed to stammer, "You know?  How do you know?"

          My Master laughed – actually laughed for the first time in so long – at my surprise, and pulled me into a very tight hug.  Holding me close he whispered, "Tahl knew the first time she heard you speak.  We were waiting for a time when we were sure it had taken place for you as well.  When you said those words to me – the first words she ever spoke to me as a friend – and then I saw your wound, I knew it had finally happened," here the sparkle in his eyes died and the heartache spread to his voice once more, "She'd be sorry that she missed it."

          Sending him waves of comfort through our bond, I said, "I will gladly stay with you for the rest of eternity if that's how long it takes you to heal, and longer still."

          He placed a gentle hand on my head and ruffled my hair, "Thank you my friend, thank you so much."

THE END


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